Deep Breaths

The Serenity Prayer

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change;

Courage to change the things I can;

And the wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;

Enjoying one moment at a time;

Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;

Taking, as He did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it;

Trusting that He will make all things right if I surrender to His Will;

That I may be reasonably happy with this life and with supremely happy with Him forever in the next.

-Reinhold Niebuhr

Now generally that prayer is most commonly used in AA meetings , but that is not the purpose of this prayer in this post. I have been reciting this prayer a lot as of late. I have been on the side lines of something that I feel is unjust and inexcusable. I have had to bite my tongue (which is hard) and just watch helplessly as those I love go down a path that I cannot change. When put in this kind of situation of watching abuse and anguish happen so close to home makes you really look at your own home and be thankful for what you have. I have been increasingly uneasy and heart broken and I take on other's problems as my own, even though I cannot change what is happening. The part that I have to continue to recite to myself is "accept the things I cannot change; Courage to change the things I can; And the wisdom to know the difference." Knowing the difference is my problem.

I am thankful for my my husband and children. We have been through a lot this year and I am so proud of how we have come out the other end as a stronger and more united unit. I am saddened by what is going on around me, but I have to let my Heavenly Father take care of his children and help them to grow and choose for themselves as I have done. Who would ever think that such a thing would be so difficult?! Why can't I just go in, guns blazing and take care of what needs to be done? Because the lesson that needs to be learned here would not happen. However much it pains me to see those that I love get hurt time and time again, I have to stand by and watch. How hard must it be for our Heavenly Father to do the same?

This post is really for me to reflect and if I write it, maybe I can actually follow through with it. I hope that we all can take care of those we love, but also realize that we can't solve every one's problems and that they need to choose for themselves and we need accept that choice, however wrong we think it may be. I'm not losing anymore sleep or tears over this. I leave it His hands to know what is best and to guide those in need.

Sorry for the vagueness of this post, but I am not going into detail of what is happening. I just am throwing this out into the abyss so if someone is going through a similar situation that maybe they will find strength in my own realization.